Food Shenanigans!

shə-ˈna-ni-gənz: high-spirited or mischievous activity

Wait, who’s in the Super Bowl again?

Posted by Michelle on February 4, 2010

This post is brought to you by a dear Food Shenanigans friend, Tim Gager.

Super Bowl Party — it’s about friends and food. Some people like the commercials, some get into the game. And beer? That’s basic, Heineken? Pabst? It doesn’t matter much unless you’re Dennis Hopper:

For the past twenty years I’ve had a party for the Super Bowl, unless the Patriots (my team) are playing, then I go to other people’s parties so I don’t miss any of the game. My get-togethers started humbly with only beer and hard liquor. Years II to III, featured such treats as Jenos Pizza Rolls and Wieners in Wrappers. If I were old enough my party for the Jets-Colts would have looked like this:

I guarantee it.

But, damn, I’ve grown up. Invited this year is Michelle (writer of Food Shenanigans!) and her husband Dave along with six other people I love. I’ve already fantasized that after the party Michelle’ll just post “I quit, Tim’s too good” on her blog. Maybe she’ll say something nice after. [Ed. Note: This is certainly possible, but my ego likely won't allow it!]

This year here is the menu:

Robert Duvall’s Mother’s Crab Cakes.

Ingredients
1 pound crab meat, jumbo, lump or back-fin
2 heaping tablespoons mayonnaise
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1/2 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 small onion, grated
1/2 tablespoon mustard powder
18 Ritz crackers, crumbled
Directions
1. Combine all ingredients except the crackers. Add crackers crumbs in as close to sautéing as possible so that they crab cakes don’t get too moist from the other ingredients. Form into patties the size of hamburger patties.
2. Sauté in frying pan over medium-to-high heat in butter, 10 minutes per side. Make sure that it’s crispy outside but moist and juicy inside.
3. A simple tartar sauce to accompany the crab cakes can be made by mixing mayonnaise, grated onion and lemon juice.

These are the best crab cakes. I cannot order crab cakes out at any restaurants anymore because honestly, they are not as good as these. I also have a lot of really nice positive associations involving cooking these as a main course. (Yes, they got me laid). For a twist shake a few drips of chipotle tabasco in the tartar sauce.

Bacon-Wrapped Scallops with Timothy Gager’s crusty Twist

24 lg. sea scallops (about 2 lbs.)
12 slices bacon
Chopped Almonds
Seasoned pepper
Melted Butter

Rinse scallops with running cold water, pat dry with paper towels. Cut each bacon slice crosswise in half; wrap each half around a scallop, securing with a toothpick. Sprinkle scallops lightly with seasoned pepper. Chop almonds using a food processor or hit them with a hammer inside a zip-lock bag.

Preheat broiler. Place scallops on rack in broiling pan, with bacon facing the heating element. Broil 8 to 10 minutes until scallops turn opaque throughout, using tongs to turn scallops frequently so bacon will brown evenly on all sides. Submerge bacon wrapped scallops in butter and roll in almond pieces.

When I cook I know what ingredients go well together. Crusting the usual scallops wrapped in bacon is just enough extra care that people will say, “Oh, wow.” The scallops I’m going to use are fresh off the boat from Mitura Fishing Corporation. Fresh Scallops, no poisons or salt water baths which distributor of scallops use to plump them up. Only the best and freshest come from The Halina M [pictured on right].

Elizabeth Rawlin’s Lasagna for Idiots

Sauce

brown:
1 lb Italian sausage
4-5 cloves fresh garlic or about 1/3 cup minced from a jar
1 onion

add to:
1 15-oz can diced tomatoes
3 8-oz cans tomato sauce
~2 tbsp oregano
~1 tbsp basil
2 bay leaves or about 2 tsp crushed
~1 tsp sugar
1 cup water
pepper

simmer for at least 2 hours uncovered

cheese filling:
16-oz tub ricotta
~1 tbsp oregano
~1 tsp salt
~2 tsp pepper

2 8-oz packages Sargento six-cheese Italian blend (or a whole lot of mozzarella and about a third as much parmesan)

1 pkg lasagna noodles (no-boil is the best)

layer:

sauce
noodles
ricotta
sauce
cheese
noodles
ricotta
sauce
cheese
noodles
ricotta
sauce
cheese

325 for 45 minutes uncovered; let stand 15 minutes before cutting and serving.

Timothy Gager’s Meat or Vegetarian Chili

Half a Butternut Squash or One pound of ground beef and One pound of cooked steak
One can kidney beans drained
One large can of whole tomatoes
Two medium green peppers
Two medium to large onions
½ tablespoon of ground black pepper
¼ tablespoon of chili powder.

If using meat: Brown the meat, drain. Then add canned tomatoes, drained kidney beans, large chopped onions and peppers, cooked steak pepper and chili powder. Simmer for 90 minutes.

For vegetarian: don’t use or add the meat. Duh. Add the squash fifteen minutes before serving. If you add it too early it will break into tiny or become invisible and overwhelm the chili.

Timothy Gager is the author of eight books of fiction and poetry. He loves to cook and will often have multiple foodgasms. He lives on www.timothygager.com

Posted in meat, recipes, vegetables | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Seriously, enough with the clapping.

Posted by Michelle on January 27, 2010

We’re watching the State of the Union Address. Can someone please tell me why there’s so much goddamn clapping? I mean, I get it; you like what he’s saying. Can’t you just clap once or twice politely? If there was less bowing and scraping during this thing, it’d be on for half the length of time it is.

You know what you should be clapping about? This recipe I’m about to give you: caramelized banana cupcakes. I KNOW! They were delish.

I was looking for something to make that wasn’t banana bread, but would still use up the extra bananas we had laying around that I bought with the best of intentions, but as usual took forever in using them. I ended up stumbling across a recipe for caramelized bananas, which sounded like it would pair awesomely with a somewhat lighter, less spiced version of my carrot cake.

Caramelized Banana Cupcakes

2 – 3 bananas, sliced
1 tablespoon butter
1/4 cup spiced rum
1 teaspoon cinnamon, divided
1 3/4 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 cups white sugar
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon allspice
1 cup oil
3 eggs

Preheat oven to 350. In a 8 or 10 inch skillet, melt the butter over medium heat. Add the sliced bananas and cook for about a minute. Add the rum and sprinkle in half of the cinnamon. Let cook another two minutes, until the banana is warmed through and starting to caramelize. Lower heat, cook another two minutes then set aside to cool.

Blend together eggs, oil and sugar. Slowly add in all dry ingredients and mix until batter is smooth. Add in cooled banana mixture. Evenly divide batter into cupcake pans (I filled 16 cups). Bake for 16 – 18 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

These came out really well; cooking the banana rather than just mashing up the raw banana adds a whole new depth of flavor to it. The banana flavor was much more pronounced and was nicely complemented by the spices. The cake itself is one of my favorites – it’s a nice dense cake that manages not to be too heavy. We had some of these plain, but I felt that for the sake of completeness I should try frosting them as well. I used a store bought [*gasp!*] cream cheese frosting. It did add a nice extra layer of flavor, but these cupcakes totally don’t need frosting. And I’m not just saying that because a) I’m not a big frosting fan and b) I will never, ever make frosting on this blog.

Posted in baking, recipes | Tagged: , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Peppermint Brownies

Posted by Michelle on January 20, 2010

Yes yes, long time. I know, okay? Gimme a break.

This past weekend I had to make some baked goods for work. Thankfully, this should be my last time for awhile, as we’ve recently promoted several people, so now they can bake for the ingrates in my department. Anyhoodle, I wanted to make something different, so I looked up recipes for some sort of minty brownie. I’m not a big chocolate fan, so when I make it, I want it to be something different than the norm. [The exception to this is boxed brownie mix on poker night, because those people don't pay me enough of a rake to get fancy.]

I stumbled across the recipe for this on the Hershey website. And before you think I’m starting to shill for companies, I’m not; there were no Hershey products used during the dubious recreation of this recipe. [But hey, if anyone wants to send me free crap, feel free.] The recipe looked good because the work involved was minimal but it would still taste like something special when I brought to it work. And when I taste-tested it at home the night before.

Peppermint Brownies, adapted from Hershey’s Sensational Peppermint Pattie Brownies

24 small (1.5 inch) chocolate covered peppermint patty candy
3/4 cup butter, melted
3/4 cup oil
3 cups sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
5 eggs
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup cocoa powder [I prefer Dutch-processed, but that's up to you and your conscience.]
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt

Heat oven to 350 F [or 325 F if using a glass pan as I did].

Mix together butter, oil, sugar and vanilla. Add eggs and beat until blended. Slowly stir in dry ingredients. Reserve two cups of batter, and spread remaining batter in greased/lined pan. Place peppermint patties on top of batter, roughly 1/2 inch apart. Spread remaining batter over the patties.

Bake for about 50 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out mostly dry or the brownies start to pull away from the pan.

Now, my end product looks quite different than the one on the original recipe; I assume if I had used the Hershey’s candy recommended, it would have looked more similar. Regardless, these were really tasty, if a bit sticky on the bottom from the melted candy.

Posted in baking, recipes | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Nothing says fall like squash!

Posted by Michelle on December 1, 2009

Especially squash stuffed with sausage.

Man, Kevin Smith is a terrible actor. I totally get the fact that he’s in his own movies – I mean, he’s the boss of them, right? But why is he in Live Free and Die Hard? Actually, now that I’m thinking of it, how is Justin Long a working actor?! Or, the better question is, why am I still watching this movie? I DON’T KNOW.

What I do know, is that this dinner was particularly tasty. I am big on stuffing things with other things [I won't even make the obvious joke], and I feel like squash and sausage is a combination that works incredibly well together. Clearly the rest of the internet agrees with me, as there were eleventy billion stuffed squash recipes that came up in my Google search. And which one did I go with, you ask? Well, none of them! Mostly because I printed out a recipe and left it on my desk at work that night.

This is a near impossible dish to ruin; you’re taking something that is delicious on its own [squash] and stuffing something else delicious [sausage] into it. I’m pretty sure that’s a recipe for success every time. Not only that, but the finished product is not only attractive, but it is essentially its own serving platter. I really can’t think of a way you can go wrong here. Unless you don’t make it.

Acorn Squash Stuffed with Sausage

2 acorn squash, halved and seeded
1 lb sausage, cooked and crumbled (your choice; I used sweet Italian)
1 cup panko bread crumbs
1 onion, diced
1 clove garlic, minced
1/2 teaspoon basil
1/2 teaspoon oregano
1 egg, beaten
1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons butter, softened
salt and pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 400 F. Coat the inside of each of the squash halves with butter, then season with salt and pepper. Roast for 35 – 40 minutes, or until tender.

While the squash is roasting, heat the oil in a pan and then add the diced onions. Cook slowly, on medium-low heat, until starting to caramelize. Add the garlic and cook just until fragrant and then remove from heat. In a mixing bowl, combine the bread crumbs, the cooked and crumbled sausage, and onions and garlic with remaining oil. Add in the beaten egg, the seasonings, and cheddar cheese.

Pile all of that into each of the acorn halves. I’m not gonna lie, you’re going to have leftover stuffing. The smart thing to do would be to either increase the squash or scale back on the meat/panko ratios, but what I did was just cooked it in a separate pan so that husband could eat it later. Cook for an additional 20 minutes, until the stuffing is golden brown.

Posted in meat, recipes, vegetables | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Lemon Ricotta … biscuits? Muffins?

Posted by Michelle on November 10, 2009

Little clouds of happiness?

I really have no idea what these are, to be honest. Giada De Laurentiis calls them biscuits, but I don’t know if I buy it. Just because she bats her big eyes at me doesn’t make me trust her!

Also, I have a very sad cat next to me. Our new cat, Paul, was neutered today and he is the saddest sad face of them all. I’m pretty sure he’s a little bit dead inside. He’s young, though – he’ll get over it.

003

Now that I’ve exploited my cat for my own personal gain, back to the cooking. [Please, don't ask what I think I'm gaining; I have absolutely no idea.]

IMG_8806IMG_8811

I’ve never actually made any of Giada’s recipes. And yes, I am on first name basis with her, thank you for asking. Give me a break – you try typing that last name over and over again. Then maybe I’ll stop italicizing words. Ahem. I had bookmarked the link to this recipe in my ill-sorted “recipes” bookmark folder forever ago and found it again when I was vainly trying to organize everything into sub-folders. I decided to give it a go, since I had some leftover ricotta cheese from when I made stuffed shells the other day.

IMG_8818The recipe was very easy to follow. The batter was pretty dough-like and sticky, and I was worried I did something wrong. Then again, who knows – maybe I did! But I persevered and put clumps of dough into my muffin pans and hoped for the best while they were baking.

When they came out of the oven, they definitely did not resemble the image from original recipe. They actually ended up looking more biscuit like, which made sense to me given the consistency of the batter. They ended up having a texture pretty similar to pound cake crossed with a biscuit; dense but somehow flaky and light.

These were really good. The husband and I have been snacking on them for the last few days, and they hold up really well. Someone suggested putting butter on them, which I can definitely see as a possibility for one of these fresh out of the oven or even toasted. All melted butter with the little pops of lemon and the creamy ricotta… mmm. Maybe for breakfast!

IMG_8822

Posted in baking | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

« Previous Entries